FILM RIPPER - A SERBIAN FILM (2010)

WARNING: I will completely ruin and spoil almost every single bit of this movie in the following rant in the high hopes of keeping at least one person from watching it. If this prevents a single person from attempting to obtain and/or watch A SERBIAN FILM, then my mission here is an unabashed success.

I'm not going to pepper this review by adding bullshit ego-stroking descriptors like "...and it takes a lot to gross me out" before listing off a bunch of movies that were apparently supposed to gross me out. That is just fucking stupid. If you've searched for any other reviews of this film, it is EMBARRASSING how many other assholes online have begun their reviews of this film in the exact same way, especially those idiot fanboys at AIN'T IT COOL NEWS, who love to go out of their way to somehow prove their mettle by recounting every painfully dull and insignificant moment they ever experienced whenever they watched this terrible movie.

Cases in point:  

#1 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/44288 (Quint's endlessly derivative snoozer, with an afore-mentioned list at the 3rd paragraph.) 

#2 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/44577 (Harry's typically awful, long-winded, bullshit review with a prominent chest beating movie-watching viking cyber oration at the beginning.)

#3 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/48774 (My personal favorite: a review by Nordling, WHO HASN'T EVEN SEEN THE FUCKING MOVIE but still manages to talk about the other shocking movies that he has seen instead. Brilliant.)

I don't hate the movie because I thought it was offensive, demeaning, sexist, misogynist, or needlessly brutal; I hate this movie because it is fucking stupid.   

 

Just how stupid is it, you might ask? Well, it is stupid enough to politicize itself without a single political message other than its title. It is stupid enough to attempt to stylize murder by adding a shitty dance music soundtrack over everything like it's a thriller from 1994. It is stupid enough to think that people will get offended by seeing a fat balding one-eyed man pretend like he is a fucking a baby that obviously looks like it's made out of silicone and rubber.  And finally, it is stupid enough to believe that someone out there will either be shocked, disgusted, or find meaning in a scene where a man actually SKULL FUCKS another man with a boner.  Yes, DEATH BY COCK.  If nothing else, this movie will now inadvertently lead me to believe that in Serbian modern culture, their idea of "pushing the envelope" is to have a naked guy with a boner running around skull fucking fat men who rape rubber babies while listening to bad techno music.

A SERBIAN FILM basically epitomizes everything that completely sucks about modern horror movie making. Instead of relying upon good writing, atmosphere, proper soundtrack work, great acting, and a premise that's worth believing in (with characters that you can care about), modern horror is basically cheaply produced pornography without even the satisfaction of any sort of climactic release. Imagine THE EXORCIST without the spiritual dialogue of Father Kerras or THE SHINING without Penderecki's music or THE THING without the isolation of its cold, snowy backdrops. These crucial elements that play on our human emotions are the parts of horror films that stand out the most; the glue that holds together a nightmare that we want to keep on reliving.  A SERBIAN FILM opts out of using any such elements in its own inept attempt at somehow proving a point, which it does by going above and beyond to basically create something that is akin to pornography without any actual sexual relevance. This would probably explain why I couldn't help but feel as though I had just watched a two hour long porno without a single cum shot by the time the film was over.

The use of sex in A SERBIAN FILM is genuinely deplorable, as it is essentially used as nothing more than a visual tool to attract potential viewers with the promise of sexual deviancy.   Obviously, a sleaze monger like myself was naturally drawn to a film with a premise involving an aging porn star who is asked (under mysterious circumstances) to make one last pornographic "art film" for an excessively large amount of money. Right there, you have every single element of what would nowadays constitute a slash and dash horror movie premise. Everything else is essentially given away in the trailer: a picturesque family whose life is obviously about to get turned upside down, followed by random cuts of sex, violence, bad techno music, shitty cinematography, and extended shots of people covered in blood, looking angry before some AFFLICTION / UFC style credits hit the screen.    

 

I still don't know why I was so surprised at how unbelievably awful the whole movie ended up being by the time it was over.  I guess it was because I still had yet to understand what kind of message the film was trying to get across by showing a father anally rape his own 10 year son. Does that sound ridiculously offensive to you? I guess it was supposed to be that offensive, along with the rubber baby rape,  a lead pipe being used as a dildo, and a scene where a man cuts off a woman's head with a machete while he is raping her. Still not offended? Well, hold on, let's add in a scene where a woman suffocates by forced oral sex after her jaw is broken and then throw some necrophilia at the very end of the movie. Phew! Is it getting offensive in here, or is it just me?

Seriously, if offending people was the main point of this film, I guess it's successful to those who actually want to be offended by a movie, but to disguise this movie as anything other than a completely amateur and immature attempt at shock cinema is to do a great disservice to genuinely transgressive shock cinema classics that actually matter (like Pasolini's SALO) or newer horror movies that are simultaneously shocking and incredibly well crafted (like Miike's AUDITION or Maury & Bustillo's INSIDE).  Make no bones about it, the only person who would believe that a piece of shit movie like A SERBIAN FILM is actually offensive or relevant is the same guy who can find meaningful insight and social commentary in Cannibal Corpse lyrics.   

This film is BEYOND absolute desperation; it is a movie made BY pathetic people FOR pathetic people who obviously seem to miss the whole point of horror movies anyway.  A SERBIAN FILM does nothing but diminish genuine transgressive art by essentially being so over the top as to approach an absolute parody of not only itself, but of the horror genre in general.