Top 10 favorite video games

Coming up with this list was far more difficult than I had originally anticipated. There are still so many wonderful games that I knowingly left out of my list and it is almost painful for me to do so, but I had to narrow it all down to the top ten games that I personally felt had left the biggest personal impact upon me.  

10. Sam & Max Hit The Road (PC, 1993)

This is the first video game that I remember beating all the way. That is important because it was also the first time I ever felt that small rush of endorphins that come along whenever you are deeply engaged in the act of playing a game to the point where every little thing matters and every moment of solving another part that brings you closer to your conclusion is what compels you forward. Even though I had begun playing games in 1990, I genuinely doubt I was ever able to actually beat any of them. I mean , come on, let's get serious here: who could REALLY beat the original Super Mario Bros on the NES back in the day? NO ONE... except maybe Adam Silvers. Anyway, Sam & Max was the first LucasArts point and click game that I ever played and it remains my favorite (even though Full Throttle is right behind it). Its combination of humorous characters, great puzzles, awesome graphics (for the time period) and an absolutely brilliant soundtrack with fantastic voice acting were stellar. Bungee jumping off of Mt. Rushmore for the first time remains one of my favorite gaming moments ever.   

9. Tetris & Dr. Mario (SNES, 1994) 

As far as video game compilations are concerned, this unholy duo brought forth upon the SNES in 1994 is STILL the greatest combination of two genre breaking juggernauts of puzzle madness. Tetris was one of the first games on the Nintendo that I remember ever playing so much that I got my Mom and Dad to play it with me. To go on about its status as a classic game would be redundant. I have nothing but sweet nostalgia for those 8 bit days when a game like this was considered top of the line home entertainment. Simple, repetitive, addictive, and pure; THAT is gaming at its roots. Dr. Mario, on the other hand, is quite possibly the most fun 2 player puzzle game to have ever existed. Just ask Cara, she plays it like it's going out of style. The fact that I can still play both games with the same zeal and fervor I had over 15 years ago is a testament to their agelessness and ingenuity.

8. Metal Gear Solid (PSX/PS2/PS3, 1998 ~ 2008)

Stretching across ten years and 3 generations of consoles, the Metal Gear series were (and still are) the absolute benchmark for console gaming. The quality of game design, storytelling, music, characters, and cerebral genre jumping mayhem knows no boundaries. Whether it was the icy cold atmosphere in MGS, the postmodern mindfuck of MGS2, the cinematic adventure that unfolds in MGS3, or the dark, heartfelt, and epic conclusion in MGS4, the Metal Gear series literally had it all. You couldn't play one game without eventually getting to the other three. Why? Because Solid Snake is the baddest motherfucker in gaming, bar none, and he knows that in the hearts of all gamers, he can never truly die, even if you're playing as Raiden. It is impossible for me to pick a single game because they are all so closely tied to one another, so i'll just opt for the essential collection boxset that came out in 2008. The amount of material present in the first 3 games alone is staggering and it should be a litmus test for all future game developers whenever they are trying to figure out how to increase a game's replayability.     

7. Star Tropics (NES, 1990)

Star Tropics is a deeply important game to me because it was the first game that introduced me to many concepts that would eventually shape and create my undying appreciation of RPGs. That included everything from finding newer weapons to getting stronger by locating hearts to increase your health as well as randomly exploring and talking to NPCs (Non playable characters). Aside from the fantastic 8 bit music, this game was simply fun. From the increasingly impossible puzzles to the many mysteries that unfold as you travel across C-Island in search of your uncle, this game held me in awe with its consistently simple, yet unnervingly challenging premise. Plus, your character's name is Mike Jones! Who? Just kidding. Even though I never managed to beat the game because it was just damn near impossible near the end, I remember feeling exhilarated whenever I defeated certain bosses and uncovered new paths to explore and THOSE are the moments in gaming that you really cherish above all else. 

6. DOOM (PC, 1993)

Even though the first FPS game that I ever played was WOLFENSTEIN 3D, it was the utterly peerless sci-fi violence of DOOM that was essentially my gateway into first person gaming. I remember getting my Dad to drive me to the mall to buy the shareware demo (which only had the first 9 levels) at an EB store for like $5  whenever it had just come out and I played those 9 levels until I had them memorized. Even though DOOM 2 might have been a better game, it was the first installment that provided me with countless hours worth of 'fragging' fun because I was just so enthralled by its dark mischievous gore and blatantly obnoxious Satanic overtones. In my opinion, what separates a good game from a great one is that you can replay a great one 15 different times, knowing that you'll still get the same results, but doing it anyway. With DOOM, that certainly was the case for me. If the youngsters of today with all their fancy Call of Duty Modern Warfare games could have only been there for this game. Too bad you don't need to type in IDDQD nowadays because those games are so watered down and neutered.   

5. Resident Evil 2 (PSX, 1998)

The first Resident Evil game scared the shit out of me. I literally freaked out the first time I opened a door and a zombie was waiting there to attack me.  I couldn't play it alone or at night, it was THAT scary to me.  Obviously, it should come as no surprise that the second game in the franchise was all that..AND A BAG OF CHIPS. It was also one of the first games that I remember buying with money that I had saved while working at Pizza Hut. Therefore, it was my "working class game" and I was proud to play it. This game basically took everything awesome about the first game and added more of it: More levels, more characters, more of a story, better graphics, more monsters, more puzzles, and more reasons than ever to replay it with the inclusion of the A and B games. Me and the Big Bopper played this game religiously, to the point where it was a Friday night ritual to watch each other blasting through zombies and mutant creatures while trying to figure out all the puzzles and locating enough green and red herbs to heal ourselves. As an introduction to survival horror games, I couldn't think of a better title to recommend to anyone, especially with a commercial like this!

 

4. Final Fantasy VII (PSX, 1997)

Quite possibly the most important game that I've ever played in my life, Final Fantasy VII was a force of nature that utterly consumed my life for the better part of 3 weeks during my freshman year of high school. The only other game that ever came close to recreating the emotional and compulsive obsession that I had at the time was XENOGEARS, but whereas that was merely a very passionate fling, FF7 held me in its arms and kissed me gently under the moonlight while telling me that it would spend the rest of its life with me. Having played the hell out of the classic golden age of SquareSoft SNES RPGs (Final Fantasy 3, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana, etc.), I was no stranger to Square's epic games, but none of it prepared me for the magnificent journey that I undertook as Cloud Strife on his mission to save the world. The unparalleled diversity of its characters, the universal scope of its narrative, the genuine beauty of its score, and the endlessly addictive nature of its core gameplay were so incredibly polished and well done that I find it hard to believe that the people responsible for creating the game didn't actually live inside the confines of its digital world. It is strange now to remember how beautiful the game was back then with its blocky 3D rendered graphics. As sprawling as the city of Midgar was to me whenever I had begun to finally explore its nether regions, words couldn't describe the sense of shock, wonder, and genuine amazement that filled me whenever I left the city for the first time and I realized just how much of the world I had in front of me to explore. Few titles have ever reached the Corinthian heights established by this behemoth of a game and it is doubtful that many more ever will.  

3. Team Fortress 2 (PC, 2007)

This game was what brought me back into video games after my long hiatus away from them during the "extended" time period in my life whenever I went to college. To be fair, I should just say that it was Valve's brilliant Orange Box that made me come back full circle, since every single game in that compilation was a 5 star winner, but I was (and still am) the most fond of this brilliant and bloody Pixar-on-steroids shooter. On top of the mind-blowing graphics, the absolutely hilarious voice acting, the ridiculous cartoon violence and the immaculate level design, Team Fortress 2 is still one of the only online multiplayer games that you can start playing whenever you want and NOT have to go against a steep learning curve (unlike COUNTERSTRIKE or any online RTS game). The brilliant class system in the game is one of the most balanced of all online games, as each class is perfectly manufactured for their own respective and unique abilities, as well as their own individual weaknesses. I'll never forget the rush I felt whenever I backstabbed someone for the first time as a spy or the adrenaline pumping ferocity of ubercharging a heavy and rushing into an enemy compound and watching the Russian heavy destroy a nest of turrets and teleporters with Sascha, his minigun. So many moments like that, combined with an incredible healthy and fun online community, an out of control mod scene, constant updates 3 years after the game's release (all completely free), and Valve's own insistence of relying HEAVILY upon the input of fans is what keeps me coming back.The kind of symbiotic relationship that exists between the makers and the players is rare, unique, and it is an example that ALL video game developers (regardless of genre) should study and follow. Now, who touched my gun?!

2. Final Fantasy Tactics (PSX, 1998)

This game is incredibly meaningful to me for many reasons, the most important being that it reminds me alot of a friend I had who is sadly no longer with us anymore. I know that I shouldn't bring my personal life into a writeup about video games, but sometimes, the two are inseparable. Final Fantasy Tactics was a game that I immediately fell in love with the first time I ever played it because it reminded me of my number one favorite video game of all time (you might as well just scroll down there and take a quick look if you're curious). What can I say though, SquareSoft was on a role back in the late 90s, doing nothing but dropping bombs left and right. I know alot of people will be quick to say that there is no way that a turn-based strategy RPG could be anything but fun, yet this game is probably the best example of just how incredibly deep (and subsequently "fun") the genre can get. By making the action turn based, a high level of strategy is involved and you'll find out very quickly how intense, difficult, and addicting the battles can become. The enormous range of fighting styles, combined with brilliantly rendered isometric 3D graphics provides you with a genuinely endless array of different ways in which you can experience each battle, which was made possible because of the fully rotatable three dimensional battlefields. I also need to mention that the story that unfolds is one of the most complex and deeply fulfilling examples of video game writing ever put into the genre and because of that, the sense of commitment that I felt as I put time into this game was incredible, unmatched by almost all other games. Final Fantasy Tactics is simply a beast of a game, one for the ages that I can only hope will live on infinitely.  

1. Shining Force (Sega Genesis, 1992)    

Where do I start with this one? My all time favorite video game, no questions asked, is this brilliantly under appreciated gem of an RPG from 1992. I can't even remember the first time I rented it, but I know for a fact that I re-rented it more than once before eventually buying it brand new at a Kay Bee toy store in 1996 for $20. This game has felt like it's been a part of me ever since I was able to keep track of video games. It had everything that I was obsessed with as a young kid: fantasy, Japanese anime, wizards, cartoons, dragons, ninjas, lazer beams, monsters, and a main hero who happened to look ALOT like me whenever I was 10 years old, at least according to myself. The role playing elements, the level building, the turn based strategy, it all worked in my favor because I realized how much I enjoyed the sort of laid back approach (combined with a heightened sense of focus) that came with playing RPGs.  As ridiculous as the front cover seems, the gameplay mechanics and the visual aesthetic in the game comprised everything that I now value in a good game: easy to understand approach, intuitive controls, an open-ended fighting system and a gradual shift in difficulty that creates that yearning desire to move forward and get to the next level. The really amazing Steampunk look (still a new thing in 1992) was just icing on the cake.  Perhaps it is just nostalgia working itself in my mind, but it is irrelevant to me because I simply LOVE this game. Shining Force is the perennial favorite that I keep returning to year after year, a hidden jewel that manages to breathe life into itself repeatedly without any help. If a gaming heaven exists, my one sole wish would be to replay this game again for the first time and re-experience the genuine joy I felt as a young kid, playing the first level all over again as though it were an undiscovered continent, just waiting to be explored.   

FILM HUGGER - O LUCKY MAN! (1973)

Lindsay Anderson's brilliant Mick Travis trilogy of films (IF...., O LUCKY MAN! , BRITANNIA HOSPITAL) are truly some of the most underrated, unknown, and unappreciated films in existence. While I genuinely love all three movies unconditionally, it is the 2nd part of the trilogy that I always felt was one of the greatest unsung pieces of cinema ever produced. Whereas IF...(1968) took shots at the British education system and BRITANNIA HOSPITAL (1982) set its sights on the British National Health Service, O LUCKY MAN! took aim at a much broader, more universal concept: Capitalism.

Alternate Promotional Poster from 1973

Whenever I enthusiastically inform people that O LUCKY MAN! is a satirical 3 hour long British fantasy/musical/comedy about capitalism, most quietly nod their head while attempting to locate the nearest exit.  A three hour movie is always a daunting task, yet this is one of those rare films that somehow manages to bypass all the trappings of such a length by simply being what a good film is supposed to be: ENTERTAINING. The film manages to sustain itself not only from the incredibly humorous and unpretentious performances, but also because the film is specifically made to be very episodic, so just whenever you think it's getting boring, something is thrown into the mix that takes it into a completely different direction.  Just like real life, you never know where you are going to end up and you realize quickly that you only have so much control over the things that determine the path that you're going to travel. In the case of this movie, where we move from a boring coffee factory to a secret military base before ending up in a bizarre scientific laboratory, it becomes inevitably obvious that it is all about the journey and not the destination anyway.  

Don't worry, there are still plenty of strong selling point for those who are still weary: First off, you get  Malcolm McDowell in his prime, two years after A CLOCKWORK ORANGE had rocketed him to stardom, rambling along throughout the drab urban sprawl of the early 70s UK, hellbent on making something out of himself. This film showcases his incredible (if understated) comedic range, which is sadly never used to full effect in almost any of his other theatrical endeavors.  You also get a brilliant, hilarious, and surreal script about what initially sounds like a boring premise (the ups and downs of capitalism), as well as Alan Price's phenomenal soundtrack. To top it all off, you even get the lusciously amazing Helen Mirren traipsing around way before her Dame days, foiling the young and naive Mick Travis at every possible junction. What's not to love? 

  

Malcolm McDowell and Helen Mirren, sharing a moment.

The greatest thing about this movie is that it is completely self aware of itself, as evidenced by its brilliant final scene, which ties together the entire movie with a single life-changing slap by none other than the director of the film himself. This sort of postmodern self-referential shenanigans is nearly impossible to pull off unpretentiously, yet the movie does so flawlessly. Cases in point with less stellar results include the awful ending of Spike Lee's more or less decent MALCOLM X or the long-winded and self-important final shot in Spielberg's SCHINDLER'S LIST.  Luckily, Lindsay Anderson's movies manage to produce valid and humorous social commentary without a single hint of any preachy political agendas. The film's cynical yet goofy take on working in Britain during those apparently lackluster yet tumultuous years that followed the decline of the British Empire are endlessly funny and downright epic in their Quixotic scope. By the time it is all over, you'll find the whole affair to be uplifting in the most subversive ways possible, thanks in no small part to an endlessly inventive script, a great assortment of fantastic British character actors, and Alan Price's awe-inspiring  title track for the film, which is simply stupendous. In my humble opinion, O LUCKY MAN! will eventually be remembered as one of the greatest example of British cinema not only in the 1970s, but of all time. 

 

The title track and opening credits (featuring a cameo by director Lindsay Anderson) 

You can purchase the movie by clicking on this link through Amazon. 

 

  
 

 

CALIGULA blu ray covers UK vs US

Check out how awesome and over the top the UK Blu-Ray edition of CALIGULA is compared to the utterly boring and unimpressive one we get here in the States. BOO.

UK:

US:

Criminal marketing ploy! They just KNOW that I'm going to have to go for that UK edition.

FILM RIPPER - A SERBIAN FILM (2010)

WARNING: I will completely ruin and spoil almost every single bit of this movie in the following rant in the high hopes of keeping at least one person from watching it. If this prevents a single person from attempting to obtain and/or watch A SERBIAN FILM, then my mission here is an unabashed success.

I'm not going to pepper this review by adding bullshit ego-stroking descriptors like "...and it takes a lot to gross me out" before listing off a bunch of movies that were apparently supposed to gross me out. That is just fucking stupid. If you've searched for any other reviews of this film, it is EMBARRASSING how many other assholes online have begun their reviews of this film in the exact same way, especially those idiot fanboys at AIN'T IT COOL NEWS, who love to go out of their way to somehow prove their mettle by recounting every painfully dull and insignificant moment they ever experienced whenever they watched this terrible movie.

Cases in point:  

#1 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/44288 (Quint's endlessly derivative snoozer, with an afore-mentioned list at the 3rd paragraph.) 

#2 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/44577 (Harry's typically awful, long-winded, bullshit review with a prominent chest beating movie-watching viking cyber oration at the beginning.)

#3 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/48774 (My personal favorite: a review by Nordling, WHO HASN'T EVEN SEEN THE FUCKING MOVIE but still manages to talk about the other shocking movies that he has seen instead. Brilliant.)

I don't hate the movie because I thought it was offensive, demeaning, sexist, misogynist, or needlessly brutal; I hate this movie because it is fucking stupid.   

 

Just how stupid is it, you might ask? Well, it is stupid enough to politicize itself without a single political message other than its title. It is stupid enough to attempt to stylize murder by adding a shitty dance music soundtrack over everything like it's a thriller from 1994. It is stupid enough to think that people will get offended by seeing a fat balding one-eyed man pretend like he is a fucking a baby that obviously looks like it's made out of silicone and rubber.  And finally, it is stupid enough to believe that someone out there will either be shocked, disgusted, or find meaning in a scene where a man actually SKULL FUCKS another man with a boner.  Yes, DEATH BY COCK.  If nothing else, this movie will now inadvertently lead me to believe that in Serbian modern culture, their idea of "pushing the envelope" is to have a naked guy with a boner running around skull fucking fat men who rape rubber babies while listening to bad techno music.

A SERBIAN FILM basically epitomizes everything that completely sucks about modern horror movie making. Instead of relying upon good writing, atmosphere, proper soundtrack work, great acting, and a premise that's worth believing in (with characters that you can care about), modern horror is basically cheaply produced pornography without even the satisfaction of any sort of climactic release. Imagine THE EXORCIST without the spiritual dialogue of Father Kerras or THE SHINING without Penderecki's music or THE THING without the isolation of its cold, snowy backdrops. These crucial elements that play on our human emotions are the parts of horror films that stand out the most; the glue that holds together a nightmare that we want to keep on reliving.  A SERBIAN FILM opts out of using any such elements in its own inept attempt at somehow proving a point, which it does by going above and beyond to basically create something that is akin to pornography without any actual sexual relevance. This would probably explain why I couldn't help but feel as though I had just watched a two hour long porno without a single cum shot by the time the film was over.

The use of sex in A SERBIAN FILM is genuinely deplorable, as it is essentially used as nothing more than a visual tool to attract potential viewers with the promise of sexual deviancy.   Obviously, a sleaze monger like myself was naturally drawn to a film with a premise involving an aging porn star who is asked (under mysterious circumstances) to make one last pornographic "art film" for an excessively large amount of money. Right there, you have every single element of what would nowadays constitute a slash and dash horror movie premise. Everything else is essentially given away in the trailer: a picturesque family whose life is obviously about to get turned upside down, followed by random cuts of sex, violence, bad techno music, shitty cinematography, and extended shots of people covered in blood, looking angry before some AFFLICTION / UFC style credits hit the screen.    

 

I still don't know why I was so surprised at how unbelievably awful the whole movie ended up being by the time it was over.  I guess it was because I still had yet to understand what kind of message the film was trying to get across by showing a father anally rape his own 10 year son. Does that sound ridiculously offensive to you? I guess it was supposed to be that offensive, along with the rubber baby rape,  a lead pipe being used as a dildo, and a scene where a man cuts off a woman's head with a machete while he is raping her. Still not offended? Well, hold on, let's add in a scene where a woman suffocates by forced oral sex after her jaw is broken and then throw some necrophilia at the very end of the movie. Phew! Is it getting offensive in here, or is it just me?

Seriously, if offending people was the main point of this film, I guess it's successful to those who actually want to be offended by a movie, but to disguise this movie as anything other than a completely amateur and immature attempt at shock cinema is to do a great disservice to genuinely transgressive shock cinema classics that actually matter (like Pasolini's SALO) or newer horror movies that are simultaneously shocking and incredibly well crafted (like Miike's AUDITION or Maury & Bustillo's INSIDE).  Make no bones about it, the only person who would believe that a piece of shit movie like A SERBIAN FILM is actually offensive or relevant is the same guy who can find meaningful insight and social commentary in Cannibal Corpse lyrics.   

This film is BEYOND absolute desperation; it is a movie made BY pathetic people FOR pathetic people who obviously seem to miss the whole point of horror movies anyway.  A SERBIAN FILM does nothing but diminish genuine transgressive art by essentially being so over the top as to approach an absolute parody of not only itself, but of the horror genre in general. 

t shirt graveyard 5 - angels of light tour shirt 1999

i bought this shirt the first time i saw the angels of light in june of 1999.  they played the downstairs area of fitzgerald's, back whenever it was known as zelda's. it was a fantastic show, as can be imagined. i really don't think i've worn this shirt more than 2 times my entire life, although upon examining it just now, it seems as though one of those occasions was to a gwar concert (thus the red stains near the pits).  what was i thinking?  this was the first appearance of the buck knife logo.  apparently every single shirt was autographed by m. gira for that tour. not surprisingly, it is one of my most prized possessions and an obvious focal point in my t shirt graveyard. 

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t shirt graveyard 4 - young god records shirt

i bought this shirt at the angels of light 2nd houston show at rudyard's in february of 2001 (i think).  this one was incredibly minimal, just the logo of the buck knife that was being used as an icon for the label at the time. not much to say about it, although it is worth mentioning that the shirt seemed to confuse people for some reason.  

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t shirt graveyard 3 - swans omnipotent

i think this was the 2nd swans shirt that i bought through their website in mid 1999.  this one got much love from me, i wore it once a week at least during my sophomore year in high school, so it's paper thin and stained as well, not to mention some small holes for 'ventilation.' this design was also incredibly minimal yet all consuming (* cymbal crashing*).  i had a fun time explaining what the words meant to people who somehow managed to get to 10th grade without reading a book.  the back had the YGR label with the previously shown icons.

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t shirt graveyard 2 - swans great annihilator

this is a long sleeve shirt i bought through the swans.pair.com site in late 1998 or early 1999. it was my first swans shirt. i used to wear this religiously in high school, which is amusing to me not only because 'the great annihilator' wasn't even close to my favorite SWANS album, but also because there is only a small window of time each year in texas whenever the weather allows you to comfortably wear a long sleeve shirt anyway.  i really liked the color scheme and various 'historical' SWANS icons on the sleeve and on the back. i think there might have been a short sleeve version as well.  i don't wear it too much because i sweat way too easily in it.    

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t shirt graveyard - swans time is money

here is a vintage swans GREED / HOLY MONEY era shirt that i bought on ebay at least 7 or 8 years ago.  i paid about $25 for it at the time.  sadly, i never wear it cuz it's a bit delicate and it's very thin.  i ADORE the design, it's got that early brut minimalistic style that all SWANS merch apparently had back in the mid 80s.  

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